I don't wanna hear it, I don't wanna read it. I'm not a political scientist and you're wasting your time and energy if you think I'm trying to make a political statement or that I'm interested in yours.

The point I am making is this: Wars open the doors to profiteers. That is a cold, hard historical fact. And over the last few centuries, some of the biggest profiteers (who have consistently made more than their fair share) have been the hallowed bankers in Switzerland. They've been skimming cash and hiding assets in the name of neutrality forever. And if you thought the French were a bunch of jackass snobs-you haven't seen snobbery until you've dealt with someone in the Swiss banking community. (And yes, I have.)  But I digress. Sort of...

Here's the bottom line: The events that have unfolded since September 11th have opened the floodgates for con artists...scammers that are eager to cash in on your fears, cash in on those stupid urban-legend-fueled e-mails that many of you continue to send around the planet and cash in on the overall naiveté of the American public!  So before you forward another must-read e-mail about the latest terrorist rumor, before you buy that surplus gas mask or stock up on a year's worth of baked beans and toilet paper, before you invest your life savings in the stock of a company that makes scratch n' sniff anthrax detection kits...

Please...do me one favor first: THINK! Use your head. Don't get carried away by faulty logic and fear-mongering. And be aware of the Top Three Scams designed to cash-in on all of these fears, as outlined in Sandra Block's terrific article on this topic in USA Today last week:

        Products to combat chemical or biological terrorism: After anthrax-tainted letters killed five people in 2001, several companies said they had developed a new anthrax vaccine. One company promoted a handheld device that purportedly wiped out anthrax germs in seconds. The company's stock soared briefly, then plummeted after federal prosecutors said the venture was a stock manipulation scam. One of the latest scams is an e-mail from a company selling something called a "Homeland Survival & Safety Kit" - a bunch of overpriced junk that's being pawned off on scared consumers that you could buy on your own for a fraction of the cost. 

        Quick riches in commodities: Several firms have promoted commodity futures and options as a way to profit from global turmoil in oil-producing countries, according to the Commodity Futures Trading Commission.

        Investments in oil and gas enterprises: Promoters suggest investors will profit from the run-up in oil prices. In reality, many of the ventures involve fraudulent operations or dry wells. And in recent months, regulators in seven states have gone after these scammers. In Kentucky regulators shut down a company that claimed God, not geology, was the secret to discovering oil. "God gave me a vision of three oil wells," a promoter for Vision Oil wrote in a letter to potential investors.

Use your head...and relax.  

It's a quiet conspiracy...and you're getting nicked every time you walk out of a Ralph's or Albertson's or Von's or Sam's or Costco...it's even happening at your friendly neighborhood Starbuck's!  Some of the biggest supermarket brands are quietly nipping product package counts and weights in ways that often leave shoppers paying more for an equal or lesser amount of the product. The tactic - known in the industry as a "weight out" - is a balancing act that packaged-goods marketers play when slow economic conditions and tightened consumer spending make more overt price increases difficult.

It's like a big shell game, and the cereal manufacturers and candy bar companies have been doing it for years. The only way you can really protect yourself is to take the time to compare the actual price on an apples-to-apples basis. Gas stations have been allowing us to do this forever by posting their per gallon prices for each grade of gas being sold. Most retailers have been posting truth-in-pricing tags for years, too.

Don't get lulled into a false sense of value when you go to grab that familiar box of detergent or cup of yogurt and see that the price has dropped. Many times when product price is adjusted, so is the quantity of merchandise being sold. This also happens when a "new and improved" product is repackaged. In almost every case, the price-versus-quantity comparison works to the manufacturer's advantage, which means you're paying more for less.

That's why you've got to take a moment to compare the actual value of what you're buying: If you feel that your favorite cereal or toilet paper or soft drink manufacturer or cell phone or long distance company is jacking around with the prices and playing the pricing shell game with you, you've gotta speak with the only "voice" any of us really have:

     Don't buy their product.

          Switch to a competing brand.

               Tell your friends.

And let me know who the biggest pricing game players are and I'll start posting their names and the products they're playing games with on the website. For examples of products that use this type of "marketing strategy," click here.

Just a little reminder...Daylight Savings Time starts a week from today: Remember to set your clocks to "SPRING" ahead one hour next Sunday...otherwise you'll miss out on all of the great stuff my good friend Jesus Christ and I have to offer!  (Okay, so I can't give you eternal life...but at least I can help make this life a little more bearable.)  Write it down: Daylight Savings begins NEXT Sunday, April 6, 2003.

Without a doubt, the nation's greediest business sector has to be the credit card industry. And if you think using a credit card is expensive now, just wait: It's gonna get worse in the months ahead, according to some recent news that will also fuel the "let's get bought off by the banks and change the bankruptcy rules" mindset of our lawmakers in Washington.

By the way: All of the talk about the expected move for bankruptcy protection by American Airlines brings up a really good point for everyone and anyone who's been putting of the inevitable. If you're "robbing Peter to pay Paul" and treading water every month...if you're sweating your ability to make all your minimum payments, week in and week out, there's a HUGE lesson to be learned from the discussions going on behind closed doors at the world's #1 airline...

American's considering filing for bankruptcy while they still have some cash left. They're not going to be stupid enough to be flat-broke before they pull the pin and file, and they're plotting to use bankruptcy protection as a means to emerge stronger financially and weather the storm that's affecting the entire travel-related industry.

So what does this mean to you? If you're deluding yourself into false security... if you're putting off the inevitable because you don't wanna deal with your personal financial realities, you're really hurting yourself more than you realize. You'd be surprised at what assets you're able to protect when you file for bankruptcy. And if you use your head and do a little pre-planning, you can legally maximize what you're able to shield from creditors and get on with the business of living your life instead of struggling the rest of your life!

If you think you're gonna be able to pull out of your financial tailspin with the help of one of these non-profit debt counseling services that promises to either negotiate settlements with your creditors or help you negotiate payout schedules that'll allow you to avoid bankruptcy court, I have only two words for you: YOU'RE DREAMING.

At the very least, investigate all of your options and see what's out there. The folks at American Airlines are smart enough to know that it's gonna be easier to keep their business alive if they've got some assets available and don't stumble into federal bankruptcy court flat broke. This same strategy applies to consumer bankruptcies, too. Life's too short. It's time to get on with yours.  Click here for more insights and articles on this topic.  

It's no secret that supermarket loyalty cards that give you discounts at the register are gold mines for data mining-savvy marketers. But they're also potential information gold mines for lawyers!  Many of you are giving away incredibly personal information...the most intimate details of your life, just to save a few bucks at the grocery store. What most of you don't realize is that some of this information about your personal buying habit could be used against you in a court of law! Judging by all the e-mail I received about a recent article in the Los Angeles Times, this fact was a real eye-opener for many of you.

It reminded me of a column I wrote FIVE YEARS AGO about how one of these loyalty cards came back to haunt Bob Rivera after he legitimately slipped-and-fell in a Von's Supermarket: Mr. Rivera slipped on a yogurt spill, shattering his kneecap at a Von's Supermarket. The injury required surgery and ten days of hospitalization, keeping him out of work for an extended period of time. He filed suit, hoping to financially recover for lost wages, pain and suffering. As with many personal injury lawsuits, the court directed the parties to mediation with the hope that a trial could be avoided.

According to Mr. Rivera: "Von's representatives threatened to reveal records about my alcohol purchases at the store. My wife and I were loyal customers and used our "Von's Frequent Shopper" card every time we went shopping at a number of Von's stores."  

"Frequent Shopper" programs are designed to keep you coming back as a loyal customer, offering discounts granted only to cardholders; some programs even offer frequent flier miles as a bonus. According to Mr. Rivera, Von's knew he regularly bought large quantities of alcohol at their stores, a fact he readily acknowledges: "It's obvious to me that the only way they could piece together my buying habits was by examining my frequent shopper records." Even though alcohol wasn't a factor in the incident, the implications are obvious...and ominous.

Your desire to be a smart consumer and take advantage of special deals or discounts given only to frequent shopper card holders could be setting you up for a rude awakening in the near future: Who has access to the personal buying information that grows every time you scan or swipe your card at your favorite stores?

Do you enjoy the convenience of having prescriptions filled at pharmacies located inside the supermarket? Suppose an accounting of the alcohol, tobacco, prescriptions or birth control products you purchased were made available to insurance companies or current (or prospective) employers? Could you be branded as a promiscuous, depressed, or a drug-abusing drunk?

Don't forget about video rental or book stores...especially in the aftermath of September 11th and the war on terrorism: With assorted government agencies armed with what seems to be a "blank check search warrant" to look into the private aspects of your life if they suspect you of just about anything, you'd better think twice about the list of the movies you rent or the books you buy? How would these insights reflect on you when added to personal buying profiles discreetly being compiled on all of us. Think about it...[and welcome to the world of information mining.]

What can you do to protect your privacy?

        - Use cash whenever possible on sensitive purchases.

        - If you do sign up for a loyalty club card for the discounts it offers, use a fake name: And don't give out your Social Security Number. They have no right to your Social Security Number unless you're applying for credit. 

        - Be careful whenever you use a credit card to buy anything: You'd be amazed at what can be tracked and monitored these days, and nothing's easier to follow than your credit card bills.

        - If you need a credit card to purchase certain items you'd like to be kept out of any buying profiles, explore the options afforded by our pals at Visa and MasterCard. (Using a debit card creates the same audit trail as a credit card.) Both Visa and MasterCard have cards that you can "charge up" with cash. Think of how a gift certificate works and apply the same principle to a plastic card with a Visa or MasterCard logo on it. If you handle this correctly, you can have the benefit of using a Visa or MasterCard to pay for items with cash...but without the audit trail. Paranoid? Nawwwww....just being smart, opening your eyes and giving you options.

According Dr. Tirso del Junco, Jr., a Los Angeles-area general and vascular surgeon and long time advocate for women's health, hysterectomies are one of the most unnecessary surgeries performed in the nation today. Here are some startling facts from his website www.alternativesurgery.com:

        - 98% of the women that have undergone hysterectomies didn't have to

        - Twice as many women in their 20's and 30's are hysterectomized than women in their 50's and 60's

        - Over 2,000 divorces occur every year following hysterectomy surgery

        - 43% of the women who have hysterectomies never return to work

         - The business of hysterectomies generates over $8 billion a year for gynecologists, hospitals and our pals at the drug companies

         - 53% of women have suicidal thoughts following hysterectomy surgery

         - 75% of post-hysterectomy women lose all sexual desire .

Want more information about your options? Contact Dr. Tirso del Junco, Jr. at the Institute for Female Alternative Medicine: (800) 505-IFAM [4326] or check out his website.

There's only 16 days to go until our annual deadline with our pals at the IRS - and there may still be enough time to lower your tax bite:  If you haven't funded your IRA for 2002, you've got until April 15th to do it and pick-up the deduction. And you don't have to fund the maximum amount-if all you've got is $500 or $1,000 to contribute, then do it and get some relief on your tax bottom line.

If you're married, it might make more sense to file (I said file, not live) separately: I can't tell you if it's the right move for you, but a qualified tax professional, such as a CPA or Enrolled Agent, can. And remember...if you choose to rely on one of those tax preparation services that promises to do your return for a low fee, you're getting what you pay for.

If you're one of the million Americans who suffer from Psoriasis, you know this disease is no joke - especially if you're Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver, the pride and joy of Mayfield: TV icon Jerry Mathers is the spokesman for the National Psoriasis Foundation (NPF).  Jerry and the NPF's activist/education arm (Step Into My Skin) are hosting a free seminar on April 5, 2003 at the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel on 1755 North Highland Avenue in Hollywood...but you'd better call ahead of time to register to guarantee your seat: (800) 433-SIMS [that's "S-I-M-S" as in "Step into my skin").