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Good Tuesday morning! 
Here's your "life's too short to be that gullible"
Dose of Dover
The most reliable source for un-common sense advice,
insights and cover-your-hiney strategies you simply can't find anywhere else.
Take your best shot...try to put me out of a job!
How? Forward this week's newsletter 
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and with any luck, make 'em a little lot smarter.
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information posted on our award-winning website.

Tuesday, June 3, 2003:

Didja miss the best 2-hours in talkradio Sunday morning? Whether you were sleeping late or live outside the Southern California broadcast area of KFI:
Now listen to what you missed! Click here to access Ben's on-line radio show archive.

Yo, Einstein!  Are you taking advantage of Brother Ben's hard work that goes into every show, every KFI Update and every Dose of Dover Newsletter? [I doubt it.] Seriously...you're leaving a bunch of additional information and entertainment value on the proverbial table if you don't "click over" hot-linked [highlighted] words or sentences you come across. Incredible insights and [frequently] twisted humor are only one click away...

 
Your insurance company's more interested than ever before in what you're doing in your spare time: Couple this with the spike in e-mails from Dover Disciples twisted off about rising premiums for auto, health and homeowner's insurance and you've got the Top Three Triggers that'll either jack-up your premiums, get your policy canceled outright, or even get you blacklisted faster than Bill Clinton being ejected from a Jerry Falwell prayer breakfast.....
 
Trigger #1: Your Personal Driving Risk Assessment Report is all over the road.  When was the last time you saw a copy of yours?  In the spirit of "disclosure for a profit," the big information clearing house known as ChoiceTrust will be happy to sell you a copy of your report (and a look at what the insurance industry uses to grade you when it's time to write a policy) for a mere $12.95.  These C.L.U.E. Personal Auto reports show a 5-year history of your automobile-related claims.
 
Dover's Driving For Dollars Tip #1? Check out your own Personal Driving Risk Assessment Report:
    Once every few years just to make sure you know what's on it;
    - If you've gotten popped recently with a big auto insurance premium increase recently;
    - If you're thinking about changing insurance companies.
 
(Are you sitting down?) Believe it or not, sometimes they get it all wrong and confuse your information with somebody else. Shocking? Not really, since the brain trust behind ChoiceTrust are the same wizards of credit reporting heartburn at Equifax. 
 
Trigger #2: Almost every major U.S. employer has some sort of Employee Assistance Program staffed by company-paid counselors ready to help you with personal challenges ranging from domestic violence to substance abuse to depression.
 
The problem: Who has access to your records? Don't kid yourself. If you think there's such a thing as confidentiality, despite recent federal law changes regarding this very thing, you're delusional.

 

Filing health insurance claims really can haunt you down the road - something to keep in mind before you file a claim for Valtrex to control your raging case of genital herpes: What would your employer, your boss or prospective boss would think if they knew you had contracted a sexually transmitted disease? Ben's Bottom Line? If they won't treat you anonymously, go outside the system to seek help.

 

Too many people handle your insurance claims and medical records to guarantee privacy: That's why you need to know what's in your MIB file. No, not the Men In Black...I'm talking about the Boston-based Medical Information Bureau.  Plan on spending $9 for a copy of your report. 

 

By the way...the accuracy of the information contained in your Medical Information Bureau report is governed by The Fair Credit Reporting Act. (Doesn't that make you feel even more secure???)

 

Trigger #3: Hidden Homeowners Insurance Risk Time Bombs! Two of the biggest reasons homeowners insurance premium are skyrocketing across the country?

    * Water claims: The multi-million dollar whippings some of the big homeowners' insurance companies have gotten popped with over the last coupla years is starting to show up in your premium increases. How can you stop the rising tide?  You've gotta start by knowing what your insurance company knows or thinks they know about your current home, or that house you can't wait to buy because interest rates are so low.  Read all about it in this special information section already posted on our award-winning website...

    * Canine Profiling: That's right. The spike in your homeowner's insurance premium may be courtesy of your adorable little puppy, Cujo.  Owning certain dog breeds has become so expensive that many animal shelters are seeing a rise in drop-offs from owners who are choosing lower insurance premiums over their dogs!  As unfair a violation of your dog's civil rights as Canine Profiling might seem, it's a growing trend that's not going away anytime soon.

 

Contemplating the joys of increasing your four-legged liability?  Check out this list of insurability guidelines and policies from the nation's leading insurance companies, as well as some invaluable tips on finding homeowners' insurance if you're already the proud owner of one of the top "Damned Doggie" breeds.

 
 

Speaking of genital herpes: Do you know what herpes and the IRS have in common?  Simple! Neither one of them are ever goin' away! If you've got some loose-ends dangling out there in the tax world, why not wave the white flag and get a deal worked out on your terms?  Check out your options, and why hiring an Enrolled Agent may make the most sense.

 

 
It's not too early to start planning for holiday travel, and not just the 4th of July!!!  Getting a jump on Thanksgiving or Christmastime planning will really save you some major dough!  The source for great deals--whether you're planning for travel through the end of the year, or spur-of-the-moment/let's get away this weekend hotel rooms and condos that are hard to beat, check out www.hotels.com.  And for those of you wanting to get equally-competitive rental cars to drive once you arrive, cruise over to www.travelnow.com to get more miles outta your travel dollars.
 
 
Wanna make it out of the hospital alive?  Didja know that 1 out of every 8 hospital nursing positions are un-filled, placing patients at greater risk of severe complications and death after surgery.  Here are 5 things you can do to boost your odds of walking [or being wheeled out] alive.
 

Good news for tens of thousands of victims taken by worthless work-at-home schemes: One of the biggest scam companies just got popped by the Feds for $1 million. Even better?  These scumbags were also forced to cancel $24 million in court judgement against their customers.  Read all about it.....
 
LeaseComm's the Massachusetts-based perp: These clowns used the get-rich-quick allure of selling products on the Internet to take advantage of thousands of consumers.  According to the Federal Trade Commission, LeaseComm duped gullible consumers into financing worthless business opportunities by signing contracts requiring payments of $3,000 to $4,000 over 3-4 years.
 
But wait!  There's more!!! The scammers at LeaseComm wrote the contracts in a way that forced their victims into paying, even when vendors used fraud or the products failed to perform as advertised.  So how did LeaseComm promote these bogus Internet mall, medical billing, coupon clipping get-rich-quick schemes? At seminars and conferences, where overly optimistic consumers (naive's another good descriptor) were given little time to read and understand the complex contracts they were being brow-beaten into signing.
 
And this is where it gets really ugly: Once consumers figured out they'd signed up for a worthless business opportunity and stopped making monthly payments, the low-life lawyers of LeaseComm sued them, getting default judgments that they'd then collect on by garnishing paychecks and cleaning out bank accounts.
 
So. Have I gotten your attention yet? I hope so because here's the first of three huge lessons you must take away from this story:
 
Lesson #1: Understand what you're signing before you sign it! I know this may seem like a revolutionary concept, but you've gotta do it, folks...and here's a great example that hammers home this point: The LeaseComm contracts allowed them LeaseComm) to sue their victims in Massachusetts, instead of the home state where consumers lived and purchased the business opportunity. Since most people couldn't afford to travel to contest the charges, the bad guys slam-dunked them with default judgments. In fact, Leasecomm got more than 27,000 default judgments over the past three years using this technique!
 
Lesson #2: Anyone selling amazing business opportunities should instantly send up red flags and trigger a reminder of Dover's Basic Rule of Street Survival: If it sounds too good to be true...it almost always is!
 
Lesson #3: Don't let anyone hotbox you into making any sort of decision, especially when it involves the always-popular "this is a limited time offer and you've gotta sign up now or lose your chance" bullying sales technique.
Companies promoting vacation timeshare packages are the absolute worst; you've gotta turn and run anytime anyone tries to use a "now or never" ultimatum to get you to sign a contract. Legitimate companies won't force you to make a decision on the spot...anyone who doesn't encourage you to have your attorney look at the contract first is obviously afraid of what your attorney might find!
 
 
1 out of 2 marriages end up in divorce court and another 60% of second attempts the same results:  Why not save some dough if you (or someone in you know) are about to sub-divide misery.  Go on-line!  First things's first: Clean out the bank accounts and cancel all of the credit cards first, then read all about clicking your way to happiness by "pulling the cyber-pin"...
 
Be resourceful and share the wealth!  Give a subscription to the Dose of Dover, the most reliable source of insights and no s*** ideas available on the planet...and it's free!  Sign 'em up for their weekly Dose of Dover newsletter on our award-winning website!
 
 
How would you like to get hammered with crank phone calls from around the country, thanks to a blockbuster movie and some thoughtless pinheads at Universal Studios? That's exactly what's happened to a Florida woman whose cell phone number happens to be the same one used as God's phone number in the new Jim Carrey movie Bruce Almighty.
 
Usually, movies and TV shows use the infamous 555-telephone number prefix, but some dope over at Universal decided to use a regular 7-digit number: A spokesman for the movie studio said that they used a regular phone number because "it didn't exist in Buffalo, N.Y.," where the movie's set. (By the way, Universal doesn't control the market for broadcasting non-555 phone numbers through the mass media. Remember the 1982 hit by Tommy Tutone called Jenny?)
 
Predictably, many moviegoers remembered the number and decided to call it...an obviously legitimate and perfectly sound strategy for anyone who wants to talk directly to God!  Now a woman in Florida's threatening to sue the movie studio because of the 20 "May I speak to God, please?" calls-per-hour she's receiving on her cell phone.  I suspect Universal Studios will probably have to cough up some dough so soothe the unwitting disciples, unless of course there's some sort of divine intervention by the lawyers.
 
Speaking of calling theatrical phone numbers: Wanna list of 555-numbers used in movies or TV shows over the years?  Never let it be said we don't go above-and-beyond the "call" of duty.....
 
 

Whip out your calendar and take note...Father's Day is now 12 days away: Quit wasting your cash on stuff he'll never use and only pretend to like.  Get something cool for dear ol' Dad and of course I have two suggestions: #1 It's the most amazing towel he'll ever wrap around his weather-beaten self, from our pals over at ww.fattowels.com.  Or #2?  Don't think Mom's the only one that likes flowers; help Dad explore his "sensitive side" and get him some exotic flowers shipped straight from the state that gave us Steve McGarrett.  C'mon ya tightwad, they're extremely affordable, so go hit the official source of entertaining vegetation outta Hawaii (where are the Oreos you ask?)...not that sorta vegetation, I'm talkin' about flowers from www.tropicalcolors.com!

 
 
Could the country's biggest automobile manufacturers be hooked on crack? Okay...maybe it's just the sales incentive version of crack, but they're still hooked...which is great news for you if you're looking for a new set of wheels.
 
Thanks to lower-than-hoped-for sales in May, The Big Three automakers are are about to dangle a whole new bunch of sweeter incentives to get you in a buying mood:
    - Chrysler's summer campaign will increase deals on vehicles such as Jeep Liberty, Chrysler PT Cruiser and premium-priced minivans.
    - GM's going to pile more dealer incentives on top of what is now $3,000 worth of customer rebates on almost all of its vehicles.
    - Ford's already got their own crack-like incentive scheme into full swing, with rebates up to $5,000 floating around.
 
Ben's Bottom Line? Be patient. If auto sales don't pick up, expect to see bigger incentives later this summer, including more of those 0% financing deals that have been knocking the crap outta the leasing market for the last 18 months.
 
 
Interest rates are are even lower 40-year levels...you've gotta cash in while you can lock in the lowest levels in decades. Re-finance your current mortgage and cut the term to 10 or 15 years!  Or buy a house and quit throwin' your dough away on rent: It's easy to get educated about the process first...and the price is right!   Everything you need to know, and the price is right [free!] can be found on-line; get your own copy of Ben's 2003 Home Buyer's Guide by clicking here.
 
 
Here's the perfect way to cut back on the caffeine and maybe even lose a few extra pounds: It should be easier to do than ever before, according to one of the country's biggest employee drug screening labs. Learn how to paint your house all by yourself in 4 hours or less...go blow your nose and read all about it...

Tired of speaking with customer service representative only to find yourself talking to someone who can barely speak English? I'll show you how to skip the tele-brain damage and increase your chances of success!!!  Don't get mad...get smarter with Brother Ben on the Sunday, June 8, 2003 edition of The Benjamin Dover Show on KFI-AM/640, Los Angeles! 5-7am (Hawaiian Time)  7-9 am (Pacific Time) 8-10 am (Mountain)  9-11 am (Central)  10 am-12 noon (Eastern)  3-5 pm (GMT)

 


 
 
 

 

 

 
 

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