Good Tuesday morning!
It's the
weekly "you're not really that
gullible, are you?"
Dose
of Dover
The
most reliable source for un-common
sense advice,
insights and
cover-your-hiney strategies you simply can't find
anywhere else.
Take
your best shot...try to put me
out of a job!
How?
Forward
this week's newsletter
to
everyone in
your Address Book
and
with any luck, make 'em a little lot
smarter.
[C'mon...be
a big shot!]
Spread
the word and share the wealth of
Tuesday, June
10, 2003:
Didja miss the best 2-hours
in talkradio Sunday morning? Whether you were sleeping
late or live outside the Southern California broadcast
area of KFI: Now
listen to what you missed! Click here to access
Ben's on-line radio show archive.
Yo, Einstein! Are you
taking advantage of Brother Ben's hard work that goes into
every show, every KFI Update and every Dose of Dover
Newsletter? [I doubt it.] Seriously...you're
leaving a bunch of additional information and
entertainment value on the proverbial table if you don't
"click over" hot-linked [highlighted]
words
or sentences you come across. Incredible insights and
[frequently]
twisted
humor are only one click away.....
"What the hell did you
just say!?!" If
you think it's getting harder to understand customer
service operators, it's not your
imagination. The reason more
of them sound like they're from-oh, I don't know-Bombay,
India? It's no coincidence! More and more of your phone
calls are actually being routed to Bombay-based
call centers!
Thank cheap
labor costs, cheap per minute long distance costs and the
fact that India's got a huge pool of well-educated,
English-speaking candidates:
A recent New
York Times article on this topic said that
American companies claim a weak economy's pushing them to
find new ways to cut costs. It's estimated that
"offshore outsourcing" like this could send
3.3 million American jobs overseas in the next dozen
years.
Like
I said, it's because these folks work cheap:
How cheap? Try
$200 a month per operator cheap.
But
customer service operators aren't the only ones eating
curry for dinner after a long day of catching
U.S.-originated phone calls all day:
Even more
American companies are using Indian labor -
often working around the clock - to do research and
development, prepare tax returns (over 10,000 last year
alone), evaluate health insurance claims, transcribe
doctors' medical notes, analyze financial data, dun for
overdue bills, read CAT scans...even create presentations
for investment bankers in New York City. You name it and
they'll send it offshore to save some major labor dollars.
Wanna
have some fun the next time you're on the phone with
someone who's gotta an accent that's hard to place?
Ask 'em where they're located and see how fast they
respond. If they pop off with an American location, hold
their feet to the fire and ask 'em questions about where
they're supposed to be. I've had operators who did the old
hamina-hamina back-pedal and told me "we're based
in Sacramento" or "we have offices all
over the country and our headquarters are based in
Omaha."
Ben's
Best Dealing-With-English-As-A-Foreign-Language Advice?
When you get an operator who's difficult to understand,
don't be rude. Just ask for a supervisor immediately.
Can't understand the supervisor? Ask for their supervisor.
Don't be afraid to request someone who speaks English as
their primary language, because as more companies
outsource to offshore locations, more Americans are gonna
figure out that the voice on the other end of the phone is
sitting outside U.S. borders.
Read
the sales pitch from one American company that specializes
in this tele-labor strategy.....
If you'd
like to shorten that eternity that you're spending on
hold, here's some advice on how to short-cut automated
phone systems that force us to punch a zillion buttons
just to get a live person:
1. Don't waste your time hitting
"0"...since more and more systems will simply
recycle your call to the beginning of the message (or
menu), or really tick you off by cutting you off
altogether.
2.
Here are some combinations that do work:
- Try
"*" then "0" to cut through the tele-heartburn
quicker (it works on Chase Bank, United and Northwest
Airlines' systems, for example).
- Or try
"0" & "#" for the phone systems
at Amtrak, IBM and Apple Computer.
3.
Hit the "0" key repeatedly; it'll put you
right into the queue for Visa, MasterCard and
VoiceStream.
4.
Once you finally do get through, ask the customer
service representative for the "short-cut
codes" that'll move you through the phone system
more quickly. Believe it or not, they'll usually tell
you!
Ben's Bonus Tele-Tip that you've gotta make sure
you always follow:
Instead of
reading e-mail or surfing porn sites while you're trying to
punch your way through someone's automated phone system,
make sure you write down all of the numbers/keys you're
punching in as you go. If (when) you do get
cut-off or end up hanging up on some pinhead
hundreds-or-thousands of miles away, at least you'll be able
to punch-through their tele-hoops a little faster.
Ben's Bonus
Short-Circuiting Tip: I know
that this might be anything but a revelation for many of
you, but just in case - Don't press any buttons; make their
phone system think you're on an old rotary phone. (They'll
probably think you're in your 70s or 80s too, but who
cares???)
You've
jacked around and put it off long enough! Father's
Day is this coming Sunday, only 5 days away:
Quit wasting your cash on stuff he'll never use and only
pretend to like...since now you're gonna have to spend
it on express mail or FedEx shipping. Then
again, maybe you won't have to if you take Brother Ben's
advice: Get dear ol' Dad something
cool...and of course I have two suggestions, thanks for
asking.....
#1 It's still the most amazing
towel he'll ever wrap around his weather-beaten
self, from our pals over at www.fattowels.com...or
#2?
Don't think Mom's
the only one that likes flowers; help Dad
explore his "sensitive
side" and get him some exotic
flowers shipped straight from the state that gave us
Steve
McGarrett. C'mon ya tightwad, they're
extremely affordable, so go hit the official source
of entertaining vegetation outta Hawaii (where are the Oreos
you ask?)...not
that sorta vegetation, I'm talkin'
about flowers from www.tropicalcolors.com!
It's got the
potential of being one of the most destructive Internet
viruses ever - and your computer is probably already infected!
If you haven't been a good scout
and updated your anti-virus software definitions on a
regular basis, there's a good chance your computer's
already infected with the latest mutation of the "Bugbear"
worm that surfaced in the Fall of '03.
This latest techno-terror opens your computer's back door,
logs your keystrokes and puts you at great risk of losing
confidential information.
Bugbear uses
a tried-and true strategy of getting into your e-mail
program and then sending itself to everyone in your
address book:
It spoofs your identity and using
familiar subject lines such as "Interesting...,"
"Just a reminder" and "Hi!"
to entice your friends, family and business associates to
bite.
Here's why
Bugbear is so damned vicious:
It takes advantage of a
vulnerability in Microsoft's Internet Explorer, allowing
it to launch automatically - you don't even have to open
an attachment - all you've gotta do is open the e-mail
itself!
Bugbear first
emerged last Tuesday (06/03/03) and has already gone
global: The
major anti-virus/computer security companies have already
got security patches posted on their websites.
Ben's Bottom
Line: If
you don't have anti-virus software installed on your
computer, you're an idiot. And if you do have it
installed but don't update it daily, you're a moron...and
you're asking for a disaster sooner-or-later. My favorite
anti-virus software (which I update religiously every
single morning before I spring my e-mail program): Norton
Anti-Virus.
One more
thing: If
you don't back-up your data at least once a week,
sooner-or-later it will blow up in your cyber-face
and you're really gonna be sorry that you let it slide.
How would you feel if you arrived home one day to find
your house on fire...with no fire truck or water-or chance
of either one showing up in time-in sight?
That's what's going to happen if you don't get off your
butt and take immediate action to protect your computer
every single time you go online. Read
more about what you need to do to protect yourself on a
24/7/365 basis, as well as the latest scoop on Bugbear.B.
It's not too early to start planning for holiday
travel...far beyond the 4th of July that's now only
24 days away! Get a jump on Thanksgiving or
Christmastime planning and save some major
dough! Ben's source
for great deals--whether you're planning for travel
through the end of the year, or spur-of-the-moment/let's
get away this weekend hotel rooms and condos that are
hard to beat, check out www.hotels.com.
And for those of you wanting to get equally-competitive
rental cars to drive once you arrive, cruise over to www.travelnow.com
to get more miles outta your travel dollars.
There's a new form of TV advertising that's not only
obnoxious, but it's intrusive, too! And the only way
we're gonna stop it is by boycotting advertisers that
try to ram it down our throats: I'm
afraid it's a trend you're gonna see more and more TV
networks glomming on to in a world that allows us to
fast-forward through traditional TV commercials (or skip
them altogether) thanks to PVR devices that come with
many Dish
or Direct TV satellite receivers, or
subscription services like TiVo or ReplayTV.
In a
nutshell, we're now being forced to deal with invasive
Internet-style pop-up ads on our television screens:
Now we're looking at product
placements, logos and screen-crawls, instead of plugs for
porno sites. How bad is this technology? It was recently
used to promote a that dopey Joe
Millionaire TV show...and the use an animated
dog barking across the screen to promote the Pig-in-a-Wig
show on E!
These
on-screen pop-up ads are going to spread like a case of
pink eye in a day care center unless we tell the
advertisers that pay the bills that we're not going to buy
their product if they deal with TV networks that
force-feed us this new form of marketing manure: Enough
is enough! We've
gotta let the TV networks know that we're not going to put
up with this, and we've gotta use a "boycotting
strategy" I usually reserve for companies that use
spam, telemarketers or junk faxes as a means of promotion.
How can we
block these obnoxious TV-based ads? I
don't know...yet, anyway. Someone's gotta be
working on it...when I know, you'll know. Meanwhile, at
least there are ways we can re-take control of our
computer screens. Click
here (and scroll down to find the appropriate
paragraph in the article posted on this link) for a ton of
information about battling pop-up ads and spyware, as well
as where to go to download free software that'll help you
wipe this garbage off your computer.
Read
more about this latest TV invasion:
Here's
a pretty good feature story on the topic from The Dallas
Morning News.....
Good news if you've gotta cell phone...bad news for
the cell phone companies! They're gonna have to work a
lot harder to keep you as a customer! A
U.S. Court of Appeals has ruled that an FCC order
requiring cellular phone number portability by
Thanksgiving '03 is "permissible and
reasonable."
In
other words, millions of cell phone users are gonna be
able to take their numbers with them when they jump cell
phone carriers! It's
terrific news for consumers because it'll [finally!] give
us the ability to jump ship and ditch cell phone companies
that subject us to poor coverage, high rates and/or lousy
customer service! About 45 out of 140 million cell
phone customers change carriers every year...and experts
estimate that another 12-15 million
frustrated cell phone users would jump if they could keep
their same phone number.
Ben's
Bottom Line?
I think we're about to see:
-
An improvement in cell phone coverage
-
An improvement in customer service
-
Lower rates
-
More "dealing" and incentives from cell phone
companies eager to keep you as a happy customer.
However!!!
Watch out
for these sign-up incentives designed to lock you into a
contract as they try to keep you (and your precious cell
phone number) from jumping to the competition. Want
the 411 on this story?
(Aren't we the clever wordsmiths?) Click
here.
A major,
pro-consumer/government-sponsored program is going live
nearly 2 months sooner than expected: It's
the national Do
Not Call List, giving consumers another
weapon to eliminate those tele-gnats through a national
"leave me alone!" registry.
Sign-up
begins in earnest by July 1st via a new FTC-run
website (they'll have a toll-free number for non-computer
types)...and
starting in September, telemarketers will be required to
check the registry every 3 months to see which phone
numbers can no longer be called. Consumers who sign up for
the list but still receive calls can report violations to
the FTC online or by phone. Companies caught making
improper calls will face fines of a maximum $11,000 per
violation. But don't start popping corks on bottles of
sparkling wine [we're
still boycotting the French] just yet. Read
why Ben think these "Do Not Call" lists are
loaded with more holes than:
a.
A bowling ball
b. A
slice of Swiss cheese
c.
A golf course
e.
All of the above.
(The
answer is "e.")
Nostra-Dover strikes
again! I predicted this was gonna happen months ago
and sure enough, Blockbuster Entertainment announced last
week that it's tooling up for a new project that'll
integrate its online subscription service with its
Blockbuster stores: Customers
who order DVDs online and receive them through the mail
will soon have the option to return them at any
Blockbuster store.
This new
online DVD subscription service is a direct challenge to
industry innovator Netflix Inc., the current leader in
online mail-subscription movie rentals. Netflix
charges a monthly fee to rent up to three movies at a
time, with no due dates or late fees - important parts of
the Blockbuster profit model that generated over $800
million in 2002 alone!
Blockbuster's
option of dropping off rentals at retail sites will allow
customers to avoid the mail delay and rent more movies
immediately: Speed of
delivery and cost of shipping have been issues for Netflix
from the very beginning, so if Blockbuster can deliver
without getting popped for shipping costs, that's a huge
advantage. Wal-Mart's also starting to dabble in
this business...which means that Netflix
could end up getting steam-rolled like Netscape did by
Microsoft.
Before
you toss the old VCR, you might wanna check out the whole
story here.
The Big Brother
Conspiracy Theorists have gotta be going crazy right about
now. And when you read this next story, you'll be
doubling-up on the Xanax, too!
I warned you in the weeks following September 11th
that projects like the one I'm about to describe were going
to gain momentum and apparently, they have.
The truth really is stranger than fiction:
Our
pals at the Pentagon are spending our tax dollars to create
the diary to end all diaries - a
multimedia, digital record of everywhere you go and
everything you see, hear, read, say and touch called
LifeLog.
They've put
this project out for bid through a government agency you'll
be hearing much more about in the future:
It's called DARPA,
which stands for the Defense
Advanced Research Projects Agency. (This
is the agency that - thanks to the foresight of former Vice
President Al
Gore - helped build the Internet.) Now
they're developing the next generation of anti-terrorism
tools.
While DARPA's
not tagging LifeLog as an anti-terrorism system, they are
saying it's a tool that will capture "one person's
experience in and interactions with the world" through
a camera, microphone and sensors worn by the user: LifeLog
will record everything from heartbeats to travel to Internet
chat. Their
goal is to create software that'll analyze behaviors, habits
and routines. And just in case you're
keeping score at home [insert
throat-clearing effect here, as well as your own personal
eye-roll or wink-wink], according to
government authorities: "...the
LifeLog project is not to be confused with (nor
connected to) DARPA's other data-mining project - the one
they recently renamed Terrorism Information Awareness."
You betcha.
How does it work?
Cameras and microphones will capture what you see or hear
and sensors will record what your feel: Global
positioning satellite sensors log every movement. Biomedical
sensors monitor your vital signs. And your e-mails, instant
messages, Web-based transactions, telephone calls and
voicemails will also be stored.
Oh yeah:
All your mail and faxes will be scanned, along with a record
of every radio and television broadcast, every newspaper,
magazine, book, Web site or database your hear of view.
(Apparently they'll also know if you had Mexican food or
cabbage the night before, if you know
what I mean.....)
You've
really gotta read more about this...it's truly
fascinating-and the sorta stuff Hollywood loves
to use as fodder for the movies.
And if you
wanna really boost your pulse rate into overdrive:
Before
you hide under the bed, go close the blinds first and then click
here.
Speaking
of paranoia: If you've got IRS-related problems waiting
to explode, rest assured that sooner-or-later, they will!
If you've got some loose-ends dangling out there in the
tax world, why not wave the white flag and get a deal
worked out on your terms? Check
out your options, and why hiring an Enrolled Agent may make
the most sense.
On the hunt for a
new home? Here's the latest gimmick touting it'll help you
improve your chances for a lower-rate loan!
Fair Isaac just introduced FICO
Saver for Homebuyers, a new subscription service
designed to give consumers an inside look at how lenders
will view their financial profile so they can "get the
deal they deserve on a mortgage based on their
creditworthiness."
For a mere
$49.95, you'll get a look at your FICO credit score...along
with an explanation and a credit report from Equifax: Prospective
home buyers will also be able to get property profiles for
up to three addresses (with nine reports each on comparable
sales), legal considerations, neighborhood schools, crime
statistics and nearby hazardous-waste
sites. Oh yeah...they'll
even "virtually coach" you-on-line-over the
6-month subscription period.
Is it worth it?
If you're completely clueless,
this might be a good, basic, elementary, first-floor
starting point. I'm gonna try to get a look inside this new
service soon, but my first-blush reaction-based on the sales
pitch they're spinning on their website leaves me a bit
under-whelmed. Find
out more for yourself.....
Tell you what does overwhelm
me: Interest rates at 40-year lows is doin' it, so
what are you waitin' for? Now's the time to cash
in and lock in the lowest levels in decades.
Re-finance your current mortgage and cut your term by 10
or 15 years! Buy a house and quit throwin' your
dough away on rent: It's easy
to get educated about the process first...and the
price is right! Everything you
need to know, and the price is right [free!] can
be found on-line; get your own copy of Ben's 2003
Home Buyer's Guide by clicking here.
In honor of
Father's Day 2003-How To Lower Your Child Support and
Successfully Battle A Crazy Ex-Wife Without Going Broke!
You can't afford to miss this one
(especially if you're married to someone with kids and a crazy
ex!) so put it on the calendar and set the alarm clock
for the Sunday,
June 15, 2003 edition of The Benjamin Dover Show on KFI-AM/640,
Los Angeles! 5-7am
(Hawaiian Time) 7-9
am (Pacific Time) 8-10
am (Mountain) 9-11
am (Central)
10
am-12 noon (Eastern) 3-5
pm (GMT).
