Jeepers-Creepers, where'd ya get that...laptop!?!  A new breed of thieves are walking into office work areas...and it's your fault! How so? A recent article in The Wall Street Journal notes that with post-9/11 fears of terror attacks fading, thieves are brazenly walking through "secured" office area doors that have been propped open for convenience and they're helping themselves to hundred of thousands of dollars worth of personal property.

Atlanta law enforcement came up with the term "office creeping" for this rapidly-growing white collar crime that's happening daily in office buildings across the nation: Laptops, purses, cell phones and wallets are being stolen right under the noses of friendly employees because overly-polite office workers are the bad guys' unwitting accomplices. In Connecticut, a team of well-dressed thieves entered offices at the end of the day, as workers were going home and cleaning crews were coming in to do their job. Greeting victims with "have a good evening" as they passed into secure areas, the bad guys are suspected of making off with over $100,000 worth of laptop computers and other office equipment. This past summer a well-dressed burglar chatted with office workers at an elevator, bidding them "a nice day" before walking off with three laptops in Boca Raton, Florida.

Wanna make yourself an even bigger target? Make sure you attend that mandatory meeting or seminar! Though you might not like those boring, job-related functions, the bad guys love 'em. They dress nice, are great conversationalists, and are incredibly-adept at fitting right in as they make their move on your unprotected personal belongings. The moment you step away to the bathroom, to get a drink of water or to make a call on your cell phone outside of the meeting room, you can kiss your valuables goodbye.

Fake Rolexes or Louis Vutton purses have some new counterfeit-company-Red Bull: Phony Red Bull has begun showing up in bars and clubs. And didja know you can't even buy it legally in Canada, Denmark or Sweden? Put down that Stoli's shot and chug this...

NostraDover strikes yet again. This time? Calling the actions of the cellular phone industry as the phone number portability deadline approaches with eerie-accuracy. I love it when I'm so far ahead of the pack, as documented here. Read how the nation's cellphone heavyweights are delivering on Ben's predictions, and how you are going to benefit in the next coupla months.....

While we're on the topic of cell phone number portability-didja hear the latest marketing salvo fired by Verizon? Beginning the Monday-before-Thanksgiving, they're going to let their customers transfer their cell phone numbers to their home numbers, or vice-versa. In other words, they're determined to let you keep your phone number as long as they can keep you in their extended family. Smart move...read more about it here.

It appears that the tele-pests are trying to score some butt-kissing points with consumers: Even though a coupla judges appear to be working hard at making names for themselves by blocking the national Do Not Call list that was supposed to go into effect tomorrow, the Direct Marketing Association (that would be the telemarketing lobbyist mouthpiece) says its members are going to voluntarily comply with the yet-to-go-live list. (That sucking sound you now hear is their collective lips on the behind of lawmakers...)

Real men don't eat Chicken McNuggets: At least that's what the National Cattlemen's Beef Association is betting on. Here comes the newest taste-treat, cheeseburger fries.....

Speaking of fast food, it's the friendly service-not the food-that keeps a restaurant's patrons coming back for more: You're kidding, right? Not according to a recent study from a company that specializes in analyzing the buying habits-and-motivations of fast-food patrons. According to an article in The Wall Street Journal: "Traditional QSRs [Quick Service Restaurants] are failing to satisfy customers on a basic level. When it comes to good service, "fast-casual" chains such as Panera Bread Co. and Boston Market easily outperform their fast-food rivals."

By the way, didja hear about the new adult Happy Meal that McDonald's is testing? Oh yeah, I'm sure this will sell well: It includes salad, water, and exercise booklet and a pedometer to encourage walking. Is it just my cynical side coming to the surface, or does this sound like a buncha window-dressing encouraged by McDonald's lawyers hoping to head off future lawsuits filed on the "you're making Americans fat" front? Stay tuned.....

Also from the food aisles: We all know that the skies are safer in this post September 11^th world, unless, of course, you've got someone chowing down on a 5-course meal they've brought with them. Some flight attendants are longing for the good ole days, when they could sling crappy food at you with a smile-instead of turning into busboys at 31,000 feet. Wouldja like coffee, tea or a Hefty Bag, ma'am? Read all about the newest hazard facing the flight attendant world, and please return your seat to the upright position.....

Airborne eating, Part II...American Airlines is the latest to experiment in the pay-as-you-eat world of flying-and-dining: Meals costing $7-$10 are being tested on certain flights, giving us one more reminder why eating before you fly might be the best way to cure an AAirborne AApettite.  

Big Brother's not welcome in California, at least if he's driving, anyway: Last week California adopted the first law designed to protect the privacy of drivers whose cars are equipped with a Black Box-data recorder that could be used to gather information on how a vehicle was being driven moments before a crash. Read all about it here...and yes, of course we've covered this topic before on this very website.

Speaking of California: Spammers had better stay clear of sending unauthorized e-mail to or from anyone there, or face some major financial consequences-like a $1 million fine. Yeah, you betcha. Good luck catching these cyber-cockroaches, and better luck trying to collect.

Wanna really get nickeled-and-dimed to death? Try cashing in a buncha spare change at your local bank! Here's why consumers are finding it more difficult to convert coins to cash.....

Can ice cubes save someone who's taken an overdose of the date-rape drug GHB? It depends where you put 'em...according to the latest "cure" making the rounds down under. (Thanks to our definitive source for stories like this, J.D. Ryan of ratings behemoth The Russ Martin Show, heard Mondays-Fridays on 105.3FM in Dallas.)

Hey guys! Wanna improve your batting average on a first date? Older might not be better: According to a survey released by AARP, only 2% of single women aged 40-69 approve of sex on the first date. And the hook in the story that must've gone over like flatulence in church? They used Demi Moore as an example. The truth is stranger than fiction.....

The gift buying season is almost here-so know the ins-and-outs of gift cards before you start throwing your money down the holiday rat hole: The Orange County Register covered this recently...and of course your pal Bennie covered it about 10 months ago on this very site.....