Tuesday,
December 23, 2003
"Success
is how high you bounce after you hit bottom."
- George
Patton
Gotta
cellphone? Here comes the newest "Killer
App" on the techno-horizon: You can run, but
you can't hide-as long as your cell phone is on.
You might be able to block Caller ID, but you
won't be able to lie about where you really
are. This
story from last Sunday's New York Times
will put the fear of Big Brother into
you-especially if you've gotta spouse, an employee
or a child who needs to be monitored. Expect
companies like uLocate
and Wherify
Wireless to take off in the years ahead...here's
why.
How's your hangover and where'd ya
put that lampshade?
Holiday office parties are back in style
(thankfully)...which
means that unemployment's going up post-New Year's
Day.....
No more Christmas
celebrations. And you can forget Hanukkah and
Kwanzaa while you're at it: This
year, pledge to do what more people are doing every
year on the planet. Observe
Festivus every December 23rd!
It's cheaper than the other holidays, and decorations
are simple to put up or take down and store.
From the Airing
of the Grievances to displaying Feats
of Strength, it's easy to understand
why The
Costanzas celebrated this popular holiday.....
Looking for those
hard-to-find Festivus-related holiday greeting
cards? Look no
further...here's your point-and-click source for
cards:
Still
needing a few last-minute gift ideas?
Why not...
Doesn't a
rising stock market make you feel better about your
future? It shouldn't! Here's why:
Look Delbert, the only way
you "profit" from a stock or mutual fund
position is to sell it for more than what you
paid for it. Sound simple? Good...then
don't be deluded by the market-take your gains and
run...if you can.
Speaking of your
future, here's a New Year's Resolution I'd
like to see everyone add to their list:
Don't get suckered in by countless radio-commercial
claims from car leasing companies out to hook
you, wear you down...and beat you into an emotional
(and maybe financial) pulp! Check
out Ben's free Smart Car Seminar automotive
acquisition tips right
here!
This
is a no-brainer, and they're the first and last
automobile leasing company you'll ever need to deal
with, no matter where you live...Benjamin
Dover-endorsed Manufacturers
Auto Leasing! They
have loyal clients across the entire state of Texas
and around the nation. Why?
Because they'll take care of
you better than anyone else out there!
By
the way: If
you're facing one of those upside-down scenarios
(car business term meaning you're financially
buried), or maybe you simply want to bail on your
current vehicle and need someone to get creative
on your behalf, Manufacturers
Auto Leasing is
the best in the business.
Period.
Don't call
me at home...really! Don't believe me? It's gonna
cost ya-try $11,000 per violation, ya creep:
Okay, so AT&T's
already gotten their butts kicked by the FCC for
violating the Do Not Call list, and now an Irvine
(CA) company's about to say: "Thank you
sir-may I have another?"
Sure,
I've been know to enjoy a drink or two in my life,
but who in the hell came up with the word
"toddy"? Wintertime and the holiday season
means a lot more "hot toddies" but that
sounds kinda gay-(not that there's anything wrong
with that): Oh
yeah, here's
the story behind the octane.
Own
a home? Here's an EASSSSSSSSSSSSSSY way to pick-up
an extra deduction on your 2003 taxes, big shot:
I've been givin' this advice for years and it still
holds up; this
CBS Marketwatch story sums it up and give you a
plan, so get out your checkbook and
take some extra cash outta the IRS' pocket-legally,
no less!
Speaking of owning
a home, you can't trust just anyone to finance (or
re-finance) your home! Didja
hear about the mortgage company that was able to
step in and close a "tough" loan on less
than 24 hours notice? Despite all of the
paperwork and (perceived) brain-damage that goes
with the home buying process, the first mortgage
company that was supposed to close fell apart and
set the stage for the save of the century by my
friends at W.R.
Starkey Mortgage. And
what's really amazing about this story are the facts
of the deal: A pock-marked credit report, a
non-conforming loan and a short-fuse couldn't keep
Starkey from delivering the goods for a grateful
homeowner, which brings me to the moral of the
story...
Don't screw
around with a buncha pikers that make mortgage
promises they'll never be able to keep!
You might think you're getting a good deal, but
it'll likely blow up in your face when
push-comes-to-shove and they can't close.
Then your problems really begin. W.R.
Starkey has the Dover Seal of Approval because
they're the best, no-B.S. mortgage company in
the nation...period.
They deliver and make
home buyers the winners and long-term
beneficiaries of Starkey's commitment
to their company positioning statement:
"A
different kind or mortgage company where people
come first."
You really can bank on it,
folks.
Take
the Dover-proven route to stress-free
finance, and take advantage while interest rates
are STILL at incredibly-low levels!
Ben's no-brainer
choice for any/all of your mortgage needs?
Easy...do it all on-line
or on the phone with the
official mortgage company of www.benjamindover.com
and your first
(and only) stop: W.R.
Starkey Mortgage.
It's
easy to get educated about the process
first...(plus the price is
right...how about free?!?)
Everything you need to
know is only a click away. Get your copy
of Bens'
Home Buyer's Guide by clicking here.
While
you're at it, there's other ways to lessen the
4/15/04 tax bill/tax bite:
Okay, so you're
gonna make another house payment by 12/31/03, but
while you're at it, why not:
- Make your attorney or accountant happy!
If their fees are
business-related, pay their bills in 2003 (or at
least pay down the current balance) in the
remaining days of the year. Tack on professional
memberships (I doubt your health or country club
memberships qualify, but you might ask your
accountant now, just in case), work-related
magazines and newspaper subscriptions (you'd
better believe I write off my subscription to The
Dallas Morning News and The Wall Street Journal!)
and just watch that tax bill disappear.
- Did you lose your job in 2003?
Don't forget those potential job-hunting expense
deductions: Stuff like resume preparation and
travel costs may be deductible, depending on
whether you itemize or not. (And no, I don't think
that "trip to the Caymans" in search of
a job will pass the smell test if you ever get
audited.)
-
Charity never sleeps:
Are we worn out with the holiday giving theme,
yet? Plenty of charities are open today to accept
your donations...especially area shelters that can
benefit from all of the clothes you need to clean
out of your drawers and closets to make room for
your newest acquisitions. All of that
"junk" in your garage or storage unit
can be turned into gold, in the form of charitable
donation receipts over the next few days, too.
- How did you do in the stock market over the last
couple of years?
Sorry to bring up a sore
subject, but Dallas CPA and Investments advisor
Gerald "Kep" Kepner of www.bizcoach.com
says maybe it's time to donate some of those
"dog investments": "Charitable
contributions are made at "Fair Market
Value," (FMV) so the FMV of the donation can
be deducted as a charitable deduction, and the
taxpayer will have a capital loss between what
they paid (for the dogs) and what they were worth
when donated. For many investors, it's better to
either sell or donate what's left of their
"great investments" and stop worrying
about their performance.
They don't realize that when an investment loses
75% of its value, it's going to take a 400%
increase to get back to even!"
Okay chicken, goin'
anywhere for Christmas? Since it's only 2
days away, get ready for all of the airline deals
to start popping up! Get
more bang for your buck...check out Ben's
always reliable, no-brainer choice for consistently
affordable and competitively priced hotel room
or condo deals: www.hotels.com.
God bless
the Queen! Here's a terrific example of
the charitable way our pals across the pond are
taking care of weary shopping mall Santas! (Wow...I
think I need to go grab a Kleenex.....)
Last minute gift idea #3: Dig a
little deeper and give to the charity of your
choice...just make sure they're legit: Check
out my special section devoted to helping you make
the best charitable choices this holiday
season--or any time of the year. Also
included: My
personal charities of choice for the 2003 holiday
season.....
I wonder
if Tipper can roll a decent "pinner"? I'll
betcha she and her husband
(the Father of the Internet) won't be
having a case of the munchies this holiday season-here's
why.
Nurse
Rachet's free to murder and maim because "the
rules" dictate nobody can say anything
negative about her (or in this case, him). End
result? 30-40 dead patients:
This is not only a disturbing story, it's a
horrible example
of how the "rules" have mutated into a
cancerous health-care threat for all of us.
Pampering the
woman (or maybe women) in your life doesn't have
to be a challenge: From expert
make-overs to expert matching/tailoring of colors,
check
out the latest gift-idea additions that'll
translate into success this holiday season or even
more importantly, Valentine's Day '04 (which is
now only 53 days away, folks).
Forget federal regulations, stingy insurance
companies and rising health care costs. Here's the
real reason why hospitals are facing tighter
bottom-lines:
Big
butts = less profits? (I don't make this stuff up,
kids.....)
Screw
all the whiners who cry about unhealthy fast food.
Here's why it pays off to eat the McGarbage they
serve up at McDonald's: Can
I get some ketchup with my $100 bills please?
Dontcha love
the amazing resources I compile every
week in the Dose of Dover? Good! Then don't whine
about having to sign-up for free access:
Like anything in life,
there's always gonna be a trade-off on some
level. I embed dozens of links in every edition
of this newsletter, and my frequent sources,
The
New York Times, The
Dallas Morning News, The
Los Angeles Times, The
Orange County Register and
USA
Today require
varying levels of registration in order to
access their websites for free...with
one small caveat: If you try to hit an older story,
there's a reasonable chance that the news
organization has either moved the story to a new
URL, or to their archives. If it's
archived, there's a high probability that
they'll charge you for access to the
story...usually under $3. Don't whine
about it...just pay 'em if you wanna read it--or
not. It's always your choice.
Also
worth noting: Nowhere
is it written that you have to give accurate
information when you sign up for free access on
their website. They'd like
you to, but they'll never really know. So use a
disposable e-mail address (like Hotmail
or Yahoo)
and get creative when you register. But
just remember: They/we are giving
you a tremendous service for a great
price...free! So no
complaining...
Dreaming
of a White Christmas?
Here's
where you can go to figure out your chances of
success.
A "Doverized"
Michael Jackson update! Pictures
and insights you can't won't
find anywhere else.....
NostraDover
strikes again...this time in the bowels of your
trash: I first
reported how the bad guys are taking advantage of
your naiveté whilst plunging through your
dumpsters back in 1997 on NBC's
Leeza Gibbons Show and now once again, The
New York Times confirms my warnings.
Here's
why what you throw away could haunt you for the
rest of your life.....
Still
looking for a cool holiday, birthday (or other
special occasion) gift that'll keep on giving, all
year
long? Give
'em a subscription to the Dose
of Dover...the
most reliable source of
insight and no s*** ideas available on the planet.
(You can afford it...it's free!)
Time to share the wealth!
Sign-up for a subscription
to the weekly Dose of Dover Newsletter right
here!
Where
do you buy your software? If CompUSA has anything
to say about it, they're gonna change your buying
habits forever: Dispensing
software like candy, the
computer retailing giant's trying to make it
easier to for you to pick-up the newest/greatest
piece of software at new SoftwareToGo kiosks.
I can only hope that they'll get off their lazy
butts and make sure we get
rebates as quickly as we'll be able to acquire new
software.....
Buying a computer
can not only be confusing, but also very
expensive if you don't know what you're
doing: You really need to deal
with someone you trust...experts that'll steer you
in the right direction, help you buy the best
machine to meet your needs, and will be there to
answer your questions (in
English even!) after the sale.
Even more important? They'll do what they
say they're gonna do, and in a timely manner!
Ben's easy
cyber-choice: Take
It Home Computers...serving smart
computer buyers from coast-to-coast, with the
Dover Satisfaction Guarantee.
Wanna
real AAdvantage the next time you fly?
American might be
just what the travel doctor ordered. Here's
why.
Bar
code scanners-they're not just for grocery-store
check out lines anymore: If
you're wanting to live the packaged food stuffs
experience to the fullest, all
you've gotta do is check in to your local
hospital.....
Could
your New Year's goal be eternal happiness-by way
of the divorce courts? Here are some unusual
assets you won't wanna forget about: Oh
sure-anyone can split up the savings and
retirement accounts, but
there are a slew of other assets most people
forget about.
Didja
know that excessive poon can be detrimental to
your military career? At
least that's what one career-Army colonel's
finding out......
Diamonds are still
a girl's best friend. Here's how to buy 'em
right, and get maximum
bang-for-your-buck...on-line, even! It
doesn't matter where you live on the planet, I've
got the
absolute best, Internet-based resource for
diamond rings, tennis bracelets...or even high-end
watches like Rolexes.
Stung by
criticism of its aggressive debt collection
against indigent patients, the U.S. hospital
industry asked the federal government last week to
make it easier to offer discounted medical care to
the poor and uninsured: Why'd
they do it? Because
of all of the negative press from the atypical
tactics of the country's tele-terrorists.
Wanna know why I
despise the cable companies? Maybe it's
because of their cavalier attitude, rising prices
and crappy service; here's the perfect gift
that'll be appreciated every single day of 2004!
(And
here's why I love my Dish!)
Saddam's
daughter thinks we're pickin' on her tyrant Daddy:
She's
demanding a fair trial...perhaps
we should give him a fair trial-just like the fair
trials he gave all of the innocent people he
tortured-and-murdered over his quarter-century
reign of terror. [What an ass...]
America's
biggest electronics retailers must be
held responsible! They
hire third-party fulfillment houses to
execute rebate offers and they've got to
know (and turn a blind-eye to the fact) that
these companies frequently lie in the normal
course of business with consumers, and they'll
continue to do so unless we go after 'em! Plus...Ben's
got some simple tips that could help you avoid a
post-holiday burglary...And:
Why you shouldn't waste your time or spill your
guts on warranty cards. Helping
you avoid an aneurysm, one
rebate-offer-at-a-time), check
out the Christmas Day 2003 edition of Ask
Benjamin Dover from The Dallas Morning News
right here!
