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Good Tuesday morning!  Here's your
Dose of Dover
Still your most reliable source for un-common sense insight and
cover-your-backside strategies this new year and beyond.
Take your best shot...try to put me out of a job!
How? Make everyone a little lot smarter:
Forward this to everyone in your Address Book!
[C'mon...be a big shot!]
Spread the wealth and share the Tao of Dover: 
Lots of eye-opening information posted on
 
 
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
 
"Patience has its limits.
Taken too far, and it's cowardice."
 


I’ll drink to that! What is maltose and why should beer-drinking dieters be concerned about it? Okay, so maybe the term "beer drinkin’ dieter" is an oxymoron, but not to the advertising brain-trust at Anheuser-Busch:
Bottoms up.....



I love The New York Times, but someone in their headline writing department needs to see the obvious irony in this latest headline...
especially for a 45-year old man who has admitted on national television to sleeping with young boys.....
 
 

 
Mother's Day is only 12 days away. And then there's always graduation, weddings, and anniversaries! The days of kissing your cash goodbye are long gone...once you've got an affordable and reliable source for all types of jewelry and watches! Learn how to avoid getting hosed.  Check out my diamond/jewelry buying tips and on-line buying resource...all assembled in one easy-to-reference section.....

Speaking of Mom, now's the time to place your order and secure your spot at the top of the Will.  Send some beautiful flowers from Hawaii, aside from being amazingly affordable, they'll last at least twice as long...FedEx-ed direct by our friends at www.tropicalcolors.com

Want the perfect anytime gift at a perfectly-affordable price?  [Free!] Another Dover-inspired no-brainer.....
 

 
Maybe they should affiliate with the Teamsters? They’re really moanin’ in the porno capitol of the world, Southern California's San Fernando Valley...and here’s why.
 

 
The good news? Prescriptions are about to get cheaper. The bad news? It’s not gonna be easy to navigate the atypical government-inspired web of paperwork required of beneficiaries. Take a Xanax and read more.....
 

 
Wanna avoid automobile acquisition-related brain-damage?  Deal with an honest company in the first place! No matter where you're located, Manufacturer's Auto Leasing delivers on that promise, and more.  They've got the Dover Endorsement because they really are auto experts you can trust.  Check 'em out for yourself.....
 
 

 
Feeling overwhelmed? You’re just who the bad guys are looking for. They’re good at what they do, and chances are pretty good that you’re helping them: Don’t pay one more bill until you’ve read this one.....
 

 
Know how to find a new landlord that'll not only give you free rent, but will even move you for free?  Simple!  And just one click away.....
 

 
Have you ever left a tip for the hotel maid? Me neither...but if guilt is a motivating factor for you, then you’ll feel a little–no, a lot–better knowing you’ve been over-tipping everyone else: Check out this latest illustration of why Americans are regarded around the world as the best–and stupidest–tippers.
 

 
I wonder if they’ll use "We Hate Cancer Patients–and it shows" in their new TV/print ads? Didja hear the latest major faux pas by Frontier Airline? Oy.....
 

 
Speaking of truth in advertising, perhaps Pizza Hut should start offering thick-crust pizzas with extra phlegm? That’s the $6 million PR question the pizza giant’s choking on....
 

 
And since we’re on the subject of truth in advertising...you’re gonna love the latest break-through in on-line dating services: No more of this "height and weight proportionate" cyber-dookey anymore.....
 

 
Could you have cyber-herpes? It’s dangerous but "fixable"...and there’s a damned good chance you’ve already got it. Quit playin’ with your hard drive and find out what "it" is.....
 
From the Evil Empire Department comes word that AOL’s already way ahead on the cyber-security curve: Could their next most recognizable phrase "You’ve Got Spyware!"?
Are you still plagued by those annoying on-line "pop-up" windows? Wake up and get into the 21st century–install the newest and greatest (and free!) features from the planet’s leading search engines, Einstein.....
 

And since we've touched on the subject of evil-empires, aren't you glad you don't have IRS problems?  Still, it's worth remembering where to go if (when) you get one of those dreaded love-notes from the most powerful collection agency on the planet: For all of those IRS (or state) tax problems, get the most bang for your representation-buck from an Enrolled Agent.  (Read more here.)


More from the Evil Empire Department: Since the FCC's out to censor everything, the only content worth watching is going to be on pay TV: I'm no fan of the cable industry, but I sure love my Dish!  (Here's why you are gonna love yours.)


Could lost baggage become a thing of the past for the airline industry? If RFID becomes SOP you might end being SOL ASAP. Here’s why...


Higher interested rates aren't just a threat anymore.  I’m waiting for "The Fed's" Alan Greenspan to give us the exact time and date.  Rate hikes are long, long overdue.....

Still sleepin' at the "let's buy (or re-fi) a house" switch?  What are you waitin' for???  Mortgage rates rose again last week (no surprise)...read more and wake up before it's too late.

W.R. Starkey Mortgage has the Dover Seal of Approval because they're still the best, no-B.S. mortgage company in the nation...period. They consistently deliver on their company credo: "A different kind or mortgage company where people come first."

Get smart(er) about the process from start to finish: Click here to get your free copy of Ben's 2004 Home Buyer's Guide.

Experience what stress-free financing is supposed to be like and take advantage of incredibly low interest rates: Do it all on-line W.R. Starkey Mortgage, or find a location near you: (888) 282-6632

Do you know a senior homeowner who's cash poor but is sitting on a wad of equity? Read how to flush out some cash so they can enjoy the riches of their years of hard work. It's non-taxable cash that allows 'em to travel, pay for medications or hire health care professionals that, in turn, allows them to stay in their homes longer. Turn up the speakers and learn more from Ben's streaming video archive.....

 

Since you're gonna take advantage of these low interest rates and move to a new home soon, you'll definitely wanna check out my moving tips section here.  Remember the key to lowering your chances for financial and emotional heartbreak is choosing the right moving company.  Exodus Moving is a great North Texas example of dependability and just as important, affordability.

Unpacking after a big move doesn't have to be total brain-damage, either: Ben's choice for unpacking and organizing expertise that won't bust your bank account?  Tiffany Pine-Lastelick and her team of organizational experts at InOrder.....

Moving to a new house, condo or apartment?  Then you'd better change the locks! If you live in North Texas, I've already found the first and only reliable locksmith you'll ever need: Chief Safe & Lock (214) 827-7535 (answered 24/7)
 

Want a great deal on a cellphone? Barebones users are getting the deals of the century, and you can too if you know where to look.....

Speaking of cellphones, don’t make yourself an easy target the next time you decide to be charitable and donate your old cellphone: Here’s why....


Know someone with a "crack" problem? They could get fined $500 in that third world nation known as Louisiana: If they’re gonna start going after silly clothing styles, we can only pray that they’ll enforce the sound pollution statutes against these morons with their car stereos cranked up to ridiculous levels.....


No, seriously...it’s a real $50 bill: Be careful out there but be aware of the new re-designed $50, just released yesterday.  Check it out so you don’t get faked out.....


I know, I know. You really are amazed by the number of resources I compile every week for ya in the Dose of Dover.  Great! Then don't whine about having to sign-up for free access to sites reference in these stories: Like anything in life, there's always gonna be a trade-off on some level. I embed dozens of links in every edition of this newsletter, and my frequent sources, The New York Times, The Dallas Morning News, The Los Angeles Times, The Orange County Register and USA Today require varying levels of registration in order to access their websites for free...with one small caveat: If you try to hit an older story, there's a reasonable chance that the news organization has either moved the story to a new URL, or to their archives.  If it's archived, there's a high probability that they'll charge you for access to the story...usually under $3.  Don't complain about it...just pay 'em if you wanna read it--or not.  It's always your choice.

Also worth noting: Nowhere is it written that you have to give accurate information when you sign up for free access on their website. They'd like you to, but they'll never really know. So use a disposable e-mail address (like Hotmail or Yahoo) and get creative when you register.  But just remember: They/we are giving you a tremendous service for a great price...free!  So no complaining.....
 

Question: Name someone who's "dating over their head" and looks and acts like they've retired to Florida from Lonnnnnnng Eyeland.  Answer: It's not an 80-something retired New Yawker driving up on sidewalks.  It's the Piano Man, Billy Joel.  (Shouldn't he have enough to dough to hire a driver?)



Those low-lifes from Lagos victimized one poor soul, but Federal Express absolutely, positively came through, right on time!
  Check out how they delivered above-and-beyond the call of duty...Plus:
Property tax valuation notices are about to hit Texas mailboxes, don't get upset--get smart and challenge 'em...here's how! Guiding you through life's mine-field (one scam at a time) check out the April 29, 2004 edition of Ask Benjamin Dover from The Dallas Morning News right here!

 


 
 
 

 

 

 
 

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