Good Tuesday morning!  Here's your Dose of Dover: Still your most reliable source for un-common sense insight and cover-your-backside strategies this new year and beyond. Take your best shot...try to put me out of a job! How? Make everyone a little lot smarter: Forward this to everyone in your Address Book! [C'mon...be a big shot!] Spread the wealth and share the Tao of Dover:  Lots of eye-opening information posted on our award-winning website.     Tuesday, May 11, 2004   "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." –  Mahatma Gandhi     When should you ignore the IRS?  When they're being used as bait by identity thieves!  The bad guys are at it again, this time e-mailing dupes into giving up the usual private information, using fear as their primary tool:  These cyber-scammers are telling prospective victims that they're under investgation for tax fraud.   If you're under investigation, the IRS will contact you through the mail, folks: They won't rely on the uncertainty of e-mail if they've got you on their radar, and they sure as hell won't post a webpage loaded with misspellings, like the morons behind this latest scam have done (the page has since been shutdown by authorities).  Always verify the origin of any official correspondence or phone calls, whether it's the IRS, your bank or credit card company, or someone posing as a member of the law enforcement community.  Always challenge authority!!!   Since we're talkin' about our buddies at the world's most powerful collection agency, aren't you glad you don't have IRS problems?  It's worth remembering where to go if (when) you get one of those dreaded love-notes from the most powerful collection agency on the planet: For all of those IRS (or state) tax problems, get the most bang for your representation-buck from an Enrolled Agent.  (Read more here.)     Should teachers be held accountable and even incentivized to churn out kids that perform?  Why not?  Why shouldn't they have a cash-carrot dangled for them to do better?  It's the American way...and it's working in Denver.     Know how to find a new landlord that'll not only give you free rent, but will even move you for free?  Simple!  And just one click away.....     Didja hear about the dog that got caught making phony phone calls?  Here's a great example of tax dollars at work...   Speaking of dogs disturbing the peace: If you're being tormented by a barking dog in your neighborhood, you don't have to get mad.  Just get even.  Here's how.     Suppressing your feelings?  Hate to confront someone with your true feelings?  Maybe you'd fit in better in Tokyo: From the land of the rising sun (and apparently, rising blood pressure) comes the newest techno-way to vent.  Skip the wassabi and read more.....     Wanna avoid automobile acquisition-related brain-damage?  Deal with an honest company in the first place! No matter where you're located, Manufacturer's Auto Leasing delivers on that promise, and more.  They've got the Dover Endorsement because they really are auto experts you can trust.  Check 'em out for yourself.....   Click here to get a free copy of Ben's (recent) Smart Car Seminar guide to avoiding car-buying heartburn.....   Before you jump into your next automotive acquisition, you'd better know the resale value first!  Read all about one of the smartest resources for car buyers/lessors.....     Can you imagine the type of music this doctor's got playing in her waiting room?  Lower the shades, turn down the lights and read all about one woman's journey from porn actress and heroin addict to doctor.....     Red eyes.  Snotty nose.  Think you're the only one suffering through another allergy-loaded spring season?  Guess again.  Scientists estimate that 1-in-5 American adults are suffering from hay fever, a number that's risen dramatically over the years.  Pop another Benadryl, grab a Kleenex and read why.     Didja survive Mother's Day?  Wonderful, now you're on the clock for Father's Day, just 40 days away. (And then there's always graduation, weddings, and anniversaries!) The days of kissing your cash goodbye are long gone...once you've got an affordable and reliable source for all types of jewelry and watches and even sports collectibles! Learn how to avoid getting hosed.  Check out my diamond/jewelry buying tips and on-line buying resource...all assembled in one easy-to-reference section..... By the way, placing your Father's Day order now should help to secure your spot at the top of Dad's Will:  Send some beautiful flowers from Hawaii, aside from being amazingly affordable, they'll last at least twice as long...FedEx-ed direct by our friends at www.tropicalcolors.com Here's another way to make Dad a happy camper this coming Father's Day: If he's a cigar aficionado, the best deals and greatest selections are easy to find at Tobacco Gallery.  Don't guess your way into giving him another crappy gift that'll end up in a garage sale, call Bob or Paul and tell 'em your budget and they'll set you up: (214) 692-9214  [Don't forget that out of state buyers get to save on sales taxes!] Want the perfect anytime gift at a perfectly-affordable price?  [Free!] Another Dover-inspired no-brainer.....   Tired of talking to a telephone customer service rep that sounds like they had curry for lunch?  Success sometimes can spell doom, this time in Bombay-based telephone centers.  Here's why.     The King of All Media is gaining supporters from the unlikeliest places: While Howard continues his quest for fairness from the FCC, even his detractors are stepping up to the plate to help him in his quest to protect our constitutional rights in this day and age of hyper-sensitivity and censorship.  Amazing.....   As long as we're talking about censorship...since the FCC's out to censor everything, the only content worth watching is going to be on pay TV: I'm no fan of the cable industry, but I sure love my Dish!  (Here's why you are gonna love yours.)     I know, I know. You are really amazed by the number of resources I compile every week for ya in the Dose of Dover.  Great! Then don't whine about having to sign-up for free access to sites reference in these stories: Like anything in life, there's always gonna be a trade-off on some level. I embed dozens of links in every edition of this newsletter, and my frequent sources, The New York Times, The Dallas Morning News, The Los Angeles Times, The Orange County Register and USA Today require varying levels of registration in order to access their websites for free...with one small caveat: If you try to hit an older story, there's a reasonable chance that the news organization has either moved the story to a new URL, or to their archives.  If it's archived, there's a high probability that they'll charge you for access to the story...usually under $3.  Don't complain about it...just pay 'em if you wanna read it--or not.  It's always your choice.   Also worth noting: Nowhere is it written that you have to give accurate information when you sign up for free access on their website. They'd like you to, but they'll never really know. So use a disposable e-mail address (like Hotmail or Yahoo) and get creative when you register.  But just remember: They/we are giving you a tremendous service for a great price...free!  So no complaining.....     This newest food fight doesn't even include Brother Bluto and unfortunately, John Belushi has no role a new film called "Super Size Me."  Read all about the director's big secret to gaining weight and increasing his cholesterol in the name of research.....   Speaking of empty-eating, add Krispy Kreme to the list of "Atkins Diet" victims: Low-carbs equal skinnier profits for the doughnut king...here's why.   And as long as we're focusing on our waistlines, didja hear the latest attempt by the Brits to help consumers lose weight?  Here's how that next trip to the grocery store could be a bigger workout for your body than for your wallet.....     Don't get suckered in by all of those "sounds too good to be true" radio ads from mortgage companies or brokers that are simply trying to get you to do one thing...call 'em on the phone:  W.R. Starkey Mortgage has the Dover Seal of Approval because they're still the best, no-B.S. mortgage company in the nation...period. They consistently deliver on their company credo: "A different kind of mortgage company where people come first." Get smart(er) about the process from start to finish: Click here to get your free copy of Ben's 2004 Home Buyer's Guide. Experience what stress-free financing is supposed to be like and take advantage of incredibly low interest rates: Do it all on-line W.R. Starkey Mortgage, or find a location near you: (888) 282-6632 Do you know a senior homeowner who's cash poor but is sitting on a wad of equity? Read how to flush out some cash so they can enjoy the riches of their years of hard work. It's non-taxable cash that allows 'em to travel, pay for medications or hire health care professionals that, in turn, allows them to stay in their homes longer. Turn up the speakers and learn more from Ben's streaming video archive.....     Since you're gonna take advantage of these low interest rates and move to a new home soon, you'll definitely wanna check out my moving tips section here.  Remember the key to lowering your chances for financial and emotional heartbreak is choosing the right moving company.  Exodus Moving is a great North Texas example of dependability and just as important, affordability. Unpacking after a big move doesn't have to be total brain-damage, either: Ben's choice for unpacking and organizing expertise that won't bust your bank account? Tiffany Pine-Lastelick and her team of organizational experts at InOrder..... Moving to a new house, condo or apartment?  Then you'd better change the locks! If you live in North Texas, I've already found the first and only reliable locksmith you'll ever need: Chief Safe & Lock (214) 827-7535 (answered 24/7)     Remember that whacko woman who started the biggest wildfire in Colorado history?  She's on the hook to pay $14.7 million in restitution for her idiotic actions.  I'm sure they'll collect every penny...not!  What's the point?  Why go through the motions?  The actions by this walking example of human garbage burned down 133 homes and 133,000 acres of forest lands in 24 days.  Dover's simple and humane solution?  Life in prison (without matches) works for me--read the entire story here, Smokey.....     If only they could make a bounty pay off in the hunt for Osama:  Read how Microsoft's $1 million bounty snagged the creator of Sasser, the latest virus to cause cyber-havoc around the globe.....   Cyber-viruses are good news...at least if you stand to profit from protecting computer users from these idiots.  Bad news is good news for Symantec, makers of industry leader Norton Antivirus...   Do you really think your computer's protected from the latest-and-greatest strain of cyber-brain damage?  Unless you're updating your anti-virus "definitions" every day, you're wasting your time.  Quit playing with your mouse and read more.....     Careful what you pack for your next trip through the friendly skies.  Big Brother will be looking: It's the new generation of baggage screening equipment and it's hidden away in the bowels of the world's third-busiest airport...and it's coming to an airport near you.  Read all about the latest-and-greatest anti-terorist tool being put into place to make air travel even safer.     Don't get sick in July or August!!!  According to the latest issue of Bottom Line, "New residents, fresh out of medical school, begin their residencies on July 1st and to make matters worse, many of the senior doctors are on vacation during this time!"  Makes sense to me, as does their closing bit of healthy advice: "Wait until fall to have any medical or non-emergency surgery."      Did anyone learn the biggest lesson of all from the attack of September 11th?  Probably not...here's an eye-opening dose of reality worth reading, from The New York Times' Sunday magazine.     Details, details: Adding an extra slash/dash/hyphen or dot will shoot the wheels off of your cyber-experience, or send you somewhere you didn't expect...Plus: A warning about e-mail...And: An eye-opener from someone in the collection cycle--and how you can have your private banking information breeched.  Guiding you through life's mine-field, (one nasty letter at a time) check out the May 13, 2004 edition of Ask Benjamin Dover from The Dallas Morning News right here!