He's always stirring things up every week in his Dallas Morning News column
and he's here this morning to talk about some fallout from a controversial
column that appeared last week. Our un-common sense expert Benjamin Dover
is here to talk about quitting and knowing when to cut your losses, an
especially timely topic with
news that credit card delinquencies have reached all time highs.....
"Quitting does
not equal failure, however,
not quitting
when it is indicated will lead to failure."
Why do you think this evoked such a response?
Answer 1: Many of us (me
included) have been conditioned over the years–by our parents, a teacher
or a coach, or maybe even some huckster shilling mail order home-based
business success/positive thinking courses via middle-of-the-night
infomercials–to believe that quitting is wrong...that it equals failure.
"A quitter never wins and a winner never quits"
is not only outmoded, it’s unrealistic thinking.
Question 2: But you also
took a hot-button position that really got folks stirred up:
"Self-interest
tends to be in the best interest of all."
Let's face it Ben, it's easy to see why that last statement would rub
some people the wrong way.
Answer 2: As unpopular
as this may initially appear, the self-interest–"him or me" decision–in
the long run, tends to be in the best interest of all. Honest evaluation
of your situation–from lousy jobs and creepy bosses to dysfunctional
relationships or out-of-control finances–you’ve got to learn when to cut
your losses.
You’ve got to come to grips with what’s best for you and your family,
and many times it takes a breakdown before you have a breakthrough.
I'm not even remotely suggesting you don't care about "your fellow man,"
but I can tell you that putting the "needs" of Providian Visa ahead of
your family is absurd.
I can tell you that paying a debt collector for XYZ Hospital before
you pay the rent or mortgage, an electric bill or insurance is
pretty stupid. Of course if you've never been in this position, how
would you (or could you) ever understand?
Put yourself in the
best position to survive so that you can help your family. Here's a
perfect example:
Have you ever flown in a commercial
airliner? Have you ever read over the "what you need to do if the cabin
de-pressure-izes and the oxygen masks drop down" literature? I have.
What's one of the first things they
tell you? "If you have a child flying with you, put your mask on first,
then place the mask over the child's face." Why do they tell you to do
this? Simple.
Because if you're not fully-functional
first and foremost, how are the kids gonna survive? If you put their
interest first and before your own, you're setting everyone up for
disaster.
You've gotta be on your game. You've gotta be sharp and ready to
play ball, and if you continue to operate
under the old programming, the stress, the anger and the frustration
are clearly more dangerous to the long-term survival of you/your
family than the fallout from not paying unsecured creditors.
Subrogating your needs and putting
yourself in anything less than the #1 position actually does far
more damage, in the short or long run.
By the way: It's not
my job to teach your kids how to survive in the real world. It's
yours.
And remember:
Sometimes you have to lose so you can win.
W.R. Starkey Mortgage has the Dover Seal of Approval because
they're the best, no-B.S. mortgage company in the nation...period.
They consistently deliver on their company credo:
"A different kind or mortgage company
where people come first."
Get smart(er) about the process from start to
finish:
Click here to get
your free copy of Ben's 2004 Home Buyer's Guide.
Experience what stress-free financing is all about and take
advantage of incredibly low interest rates:
Do it all on-line W.R.
Starkey Mortgage,
or contact their Houston area office:
(713-977-9533)
or toll-free:
(866) 249-7599.
The key to avoiding auto buying heartache is
to deal with an honest company in the first place:
No matter where you're located,
Manufacturer's Auto Leasing
delivers on that promise, and more.
They've got the Dover Endorsement because they really are auto
experts you can trust.
Check 'em out for yourself.....
Just a reminder Easter Sunday (April 11th) is now just 19
days away:
Do something original this year that'll score some big
points...send beautiful flowers instead of predictably boring Easter
lilies. They'll last at least twice as long...FedEx-ed
direct by our friends at
www.tropicalcolors.com
Speaking of running from the law, April
15th is now only 23
days away. Millions of Americans have IRS-related
troubles hanging over their heads...are you one of them?
Personal or business challenges aren't as hard to work out as
you might think, especially if you hire the right representation
to cut a deal with the world's most powerful debt collection
agency.
Take a deep
breath and read more about it here.....
